Ex Equals Why me?
by Chloe Llewellyn 39
Summary: Set just after The Hofstadter Equation
1. Chapter 1

Set around seven months after The Hofstadter Equation. It's time for Raj and Anu's wedding.

"Leonard Hofstadter smiled at his seven month old daughter as he got her out of the car. They had just been to view a massive mansion on the outskirts of Pasadena. There was no way Leonard and his wife, Penny could ever afford the property on their own, but they were taking the plunge and purchasing it with their best friends, Sheldon and Amy Cooper-Fowler. The idea had started off as a joke a few months earlier, Megan had been three months old at this point and Amy was three months away from giving birth to the baby they now knew as Stephen, a two week old baby who had come two weeks after his due date, much to Amy's annoyance. But now there were even pre-purchase contracts signed by the four of them, the rules were simple they would buy the house together and then turn it into two properties, therefore fulfilling the wants, and needs, of both families, while having each other close enough for evenings together, shared babysitting and the support given by all four of the friends to each other but also having their own space when required.  
"So, what do you think?" Leonard asked Penny in that singing voice he always seemed to put on when he wasn't sure how her answer was going to go "did you like it?"  
"It was okay" Penny wasn't completely struck on the idea, or that's what she wanted Leonard to think "I just don't see why we have to do this"  
"You know what Sheldon is like" Leonard tried to reason with her, unaware he was preaching to the converted "he wants us all to live together and if we don't he will make our lives hell"  
"Let me sleep on it" Penny sighed, pleased she had called his bluff, Megan had been teething and therefore sleep had eluded the whole family, and a few other families living in the block. Penny took Megan in her car seat from her husband, and started to carry her up the stairs, cursing the building manager under her breath for not arranging to have the elevator fixed as they had promised on many occasions they were going to do. Leonard grabbed the baby bag and the shopping the had purchased at the family's stop at Wal-Mart on the way home and followed Penny up the stairs.

"Megan settled well that night, which surprised both of her parents, and to the building's relief, she slept through. Penny, however, didn't. Sleep continued to elude her and she knew exactly why. It wasn't the house that was bothering her, it wasn't the thought of being financially tied to both Amy and Sheldon that made her want to scream, it wasn't an endless stream of paperwork and time that would need to be put into this joint venture that scared her half to death, it was the upcoming trip to India for Raj and Anu's wedding that terrified her to her very bones. This was because, for the first time in years, both Leonard and his ex would be in the same country. Yes Penny and Leonard were married now, yes they had a baby and were in the process of buying a house and yes Leonard loved her so much he had married her twice, but this was Priya, this was Leonard, this was an impending disaster.

"Penny didn't know how long Leonard had known Priya, she assumed since he had known Raj, or maybe a little bit less, but she did know that every time Priya had been in the country, Leonard had ended up in bed with her. The tone of their relationship had been mixed over the years. The first time was intended to be a one night stand, just coitus (Penny didn't really like this word, but saw it as appropriate for this situation) but this had evolved into various hook ups over the years eventually turning into an eight month long relationship which had ended when Priya had moved back to India and had an affair with her ex. Priya hadn't been anywhere near America since she and Leonard had broken up, guilt tripping her brother into going over there to she her in the many years that had passed since, but now this was different, and they were heading to India in four days for the wedding.

"Penny rolled over in her bed and stared at her husband. As usual, he was snoring, a noise that, over the years Penny had become accustomed to, to the point that she truly believed she would miss it if it went away. Megan stirred a little in her crib, but seemed to roll over and resettle herself, maybe Megan was making up for the last few weeks just like Leonard seemed to be doing and Penny wished she could. Life was so perfect right now, last few weeks aside, Megan was a really happy baby, loving the time she spent at day-care and at home alike, Leonard was looking at a possible promotion at work and Penny was getting ready to go back to her job once they got back from India. But it all seemed too good to be true and Penny was ready for something to go terribly wrong and burst their family bubble.

"Penny knew her thoughts and feelings would be completely unfounded, and she also knew that the way she had treated Leonard over the years was far from ideal, the problem was that the first day she met Leonard she had fallen deeply in love with him. She knew this now, but at the time she wasn't sure, he wasn't exactly her type. There had been a few attempts at a relationship between the two of them before they had started going out 'properly' and when that had ended disastrously, thanks to Wil Wheaton;she felt that it had hurt both her and Leonard too much to let them try again. Leonard had been persistent, however, and two years after they had split up he had worked his way back into her heart, and eventually her bed, with a blend of nagging, being 'the man', taking charge and showing her the coolest, or so he thought, equipment and experiments in his lab. After a few months of being together he had asked her to marry him, she knocked him back uncountable times until she finally said yes. But there was still nagging doubt in her mind. This was Priya. This wasn't Leslie, or Stephanie, or Elizabeth, she could handle all of them. This way Priya, the one and only person who had ever made Penny feel so small and intimidated


	2. Chapter 2

Amy woke to Stephen's screaming at two in the morning, only two hours since the last time she had woken to Stephen's screaming. She looked at the clock and sighed

"Come on Stephen" she begged, realising that she was trying to reason with a two week old, but not caring "mommy needs some sleep"

After a couple of minutes, but what felt like hours Amy gave in and got up. Having Bernadette and Penny as friends had been invaluable over the years, they had been the ones who had taken her for her first bikini wax, they had been the ones that had spoken to her before her and Sheldon had slept together for the first time, Amy had been Bernadette's maid of honour and Penny had been Amy's. But now both Bernadette and Penny had been giving Amy advice on parenting

"Fill the bottles up to about two ounces before bed" Amy remembered Penny telling her a couple of days previously "and keep water in the kettle, then when he needs milk, boil the kettle, add the powder and then the extra ounce of water, give it a shake and it'll be the perfect temperature for him"

This was exactly what Amy had started doing, and so far it was working well, thankfully. It didn't take long for Stephen to finish his milk and go back off to sleep in Amy's arms, she wanted to put him down and go back to sleep herself, but something was stopping her

"Stephen George" Amy said out loud "my son, gosh I never thought I would say those words, my baby son, do you know how loved you are?"

After around twenty minutes of just holding him, Amy laid her son in his crib and rested her head on the arm of the sofa

" _Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur"_ Amy smiled as she sang, rocking the crib, this was one of her favourite things about being a mommy " _happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr"_

Amy woke again at five in the morning, finding herself still on the sofa, Stephen still sleeping away in his crib and Sheldon still asleep in their bed. She thought that this was a good time to get up and therefore made herself a cup of tea and treated herself to a biscuit. She thought she would take the opportunity to spend just a few minutes by herself as she hadn't had a chance to do so for two weeks. She didn't get long though as after a few minutes she was disturbed, but not by who she thought it would be, it was Sheldon who put his hands on her shoulders and give them a gently rub. Penny and Bernadette had been helpful for Amy over the years, but it had been Penny's husband Leonard who had spoken to Sheldon about the best things to do when your wife has just had a baby.

"Whenever possible" Sheldon remembered him saying "show Amy you love her and you're grateful for all you do""

"How do I do that?" Sheldon had never been good in that way

"rub her shoulders, give her a kiss, offer to do things she would normally do" Leonard suggested "maybe give the baby his bottle sometimes"

Sheldon had only listened to the first and last of Leonard's suggestions on that occasion so he spent a lot of his time rubbing her shoulders, Amy thought it was too much, but didn't want to say anything in case he stopped doing it altogether

"That's nice" Amy smiled, truthfully this time "did we wake you in the night?"

"No" Sheldon answered "I needed to go to the bathroom and then realised you at Stephen were not in the bedroom"

"Sorry, we fell asleep out here at the two o'clock feed"

"It's okay, I just wanted to check you were coping okay"

"I'm fine Sheldon" Amy yawned "I'm just a little tired"

"Go to bed" Sheldon told her, a little bit more sharply than he had intended "I'll sit up with Stephen, I'll do the next feed"

"Are you sure?" Amy seemed rather surprised at Sheldon's suggestion but had suspicions that Leonard had probably suggested this too, like the shoulder massages "do you know what to do?"

"Leonard showed me" Sheldon answered confirming Amy's suspicions "before Stephen was born he gave me lessons on being a father"

"What?" Amy hadn't known that "Sheldon, you don't need lessons on being a father, you're doing just fine"

"Only because Leonard taught me" Sheldon protested "don't tell him this, but I wouldn't have a clue if it wasn't for him"

"Okay" Amy was a little bit lost for words "well, I'll go back to bed then"

"Sleep well"

Amy laid back into her bed and thought about what Sheldon had just said, she was grateful that Leonard had taken the time to help him, no doubt Penny had something to do with it, she always seemed to know what Sheldon needed. Amy must remember to thank them, at a much better time of day than five in the morning.


End file.
